The Answer to Hopelessness

Yesterday morning, during my time with Him, God gave me something that I hope, by His grace, I can adequately share with you all. If you have your Bibles handy, why not grab them and do your devotions with me? :D (However, if your Bible isn’t close by, you can hover your cursor over the Scripture references I have listed, and a tiny window should show up with the Bible verses I’m speaking of there for you!! :D)

My current devotional material had me read Ruth 1:19-22.

“So they two went until they came to Bethlehem. And it came to pass, when they were come to Bethlehem, that all the city was moved about them and they said, Is this Naomi?” Ruth 1:19

I got this far and then stopped. :D You see, I am a habitual cross-referencer, so when I got to the phrase, “Is this Naomi?” and there was that tiny reference letter above it, I turned to the two Scriptures that my Bible listed. They were Isaiah 23:7 and Lamentations 2:15. Now, these verses might make little sense or mean very little to others; but during our time of (nearly) nightly family devotions, our family has just struggled through the books of Isaiah and Jeremiah, and we are now in Lamentations, so I had recent insight as to what was going on and when the prophets were referring to in the Scripture I cross-referenced.

You see, the entire book of Jeremiah is about God’s people, the Jews, rebelling against Him and going after other gods, and the Lord pleading with them to repent and return to Him; He warns them time and time again, through Jeremiah, His prophet, that if they do not abandon their evil ways that He will be forced to punish them. Despite chapter after chapter after chapter of pleading and warning, God’s people continue to rebel, rebuff Jeremiah, and ultimately, God is forced to punish them by allowing them to be taken into captivity. He loves them dearly and wants to bless them, but their behavior is wrong and so God’s plan is to refine them and draw them back to Him through captivity.

Isaiah 23:7 and Lamentations 2:15 are verses containing the raucous laughter of the heathen, or unbelievers, to the children of Israel after they were taken into captivity. They’re basically laughing at the Israelites in their humbled position saying, “Hey! Aren’t you that great nation who supposedly served the True and Mighty God? Well, where is your God now? You’re not so high and mighty any more! Where is all that ‘glory’ you used to take such pride and joy in!? Oh how the mighty have fallen!”

Basically, they’re kicking God’s people while they’re down.

Ever been there, Princess?

But when I read Lamentations 2:15, I could not stop. I read all the way to the end of the chapter, and into the next. Lamentations 2:15-22 pretty much encapsulates the Israelite’s punishment as I mentioned above; but the tone changes somewhat when I got to Lamentations 3:1-19. 

And it broke my heart.

Why?

Because I've been there

I’m still there

That’s where I am

I’m not so sure I’m being punished for any wrong decisions—perhaps you’re not either.

But tested?

YOU BET

“He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, but not into light. Surely against me is he turned; he turneth his had against me all the day…” Lamentations 3:2-3

I am with Jeremiah when he says in verse 8, “Also when I cry and shout, he shutteth out my prayer.”

(I would like to point out that, unlike Israel, the prophet Jeremiah has stayed faithful to his God, and has not sinned, yet he has to be punished along with the rest of them :( That is why it is so unfair!)

I identified with Jeremiah... until he got to verse 21. He is remembering all these terrible things he’s been made, seemingly at the hand of the Lord, to suffer, and he feels hopeless and shut off. But then he says,

“Remembering mine affliction and my misery… My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in my. This I recall to my mind, therefore HAVE I HOPE.” (Lamentations 3:19-21)

Umm… whoa. Affliction and misery I get. Humbling I understand. Depression and discouragement and despair I can identify with. But somehow getting HOPE out of all of the misery and affliction!? Where did that come from!?

If we continue reading, we now come to some of the most familiar and comforting/reassuring of all Scripture. There’s even an extremely common hymn taken directly from this passage that you probably sing all the time. 

“It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.

The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.

It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.

He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him.

 He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope.

He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him; he is filled full with reproach.

For the Lord will not cast off forever:

But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of this mercies.

For he doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of men.

 To crush under his feet all the prisoners of the earth,

To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High,

To subvert a man in his cause, the LORD approveth not.” Lamentations 3:22-36

Did you catch it?

Did you catch where that seemingly elusive hope comes from?!?!

The answer is found in verse 24: “therefore will I hope in Him.”

Our hope is to come from Him. 

Even when it feels as though He is against us!!! :(

His compassions fail not" even though it feels as though we are being consumed. (verse 22)

We are to hope in Him 

To wait and seek for him

because "the Lord is good unto them that wait for Him, to the soul that seeketh him." 

As you "hope and quietly wait"; As you "bear the yoke in your youth"; as you sit and suffer alone; please, suffering sister, (or brother!) remember these verses! 

"The Lord will not cast off forever: But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. For he doth not afflict willingly, nor grieve the children of me...To turn aside the right of a man before the face of the most High, To subvert a man in his cause, the Lord approveth not." (Lamentations 3:31-36)

Memorize them. Post them on your mirror. Quote them often to yourself. By God's grace, draw that hope from them-- from God.

I know I need to. 

I hope this encourages you today. 

When You've Blown It...

For the past few weeks, the writer/sharer/encourager/writer (wait, did I already mention that?? :D ) in me has been deeply longing to do a post!! :( But, as I mentioned here and here, I have had little inspiration and no post “of substance” to write :(.  While I have been taking steps to ‘fixing’ that issue, the fact is that No. 1) the problem is not fixed (yet! :D) (Or at least not to Katie-perfectionist standards… :( … which is an entirely different blog-post in itself!!!) So No. 2) the well is still dry!

But, at long last, the other night, the inspiration for a blog-post hit…

In the form of an utter failure

Like, one of those, "hurt-your-testimony, be-a-terrible-example, two-year-old-reaction" type moments.

Yeah. It was bad. :( I embarrassed myself. Which added to the unpleasantness that caused my reaction in the first place. Not fun.

What happened, you may be asking?

I LOST MY TEMPER. Big time.

Now, none of us are perfect. We are but dust, born with a sin nature that fights against us every day, and are prone to falling (making mistakes)—over and over and over again. It’s normal. Often, it’s expected. Failing is even a big part of how we grow and become better and become more like Christ. As we make mistakes, when we do wrong, we learn what is wrong or what doesn't work and learn not to do those things again. (Or at least to strive not to!!!)

BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE SIN OKAY. Just because it is human and everybody does it from time to time, it DOESN'T MAKE IT ACCEPTABLE or excusable. It doesn't make “blow it” moments less wrong, or less ugly, or as often happens, less hurtful. And it doesn't always erase the consequences either. 

My point being? Don’t be too hard on yourself (i.e. expect/strive overly hard for perfection and then beat yourself down into the dirt when you humanly miss the mark) but do own your mistakes, and yes *gulp*, even the occasional consequence.

Sin is sin. WE ALL DO IT (and God understands Psalm 103:14)

(But He is HOLY) and IT IS STILL WRONG.

DON’T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF, BUT DON’T MAKE EXCUSES.

(This is one of those “fine line”, “let your moderation be known unto all men” situations. We can’t swing too far one way or to the other.)

 

This is part of what I learned through blowing it (And again, when I say “I blew it”, I mean, full out, disrespectfully cutting someone down—who had unknowingly offended me—and doing so in a raised and angry tone of voice. And ungracefully doing so in front of two of my younger and impressionable sisters … :( No. Definitely not one of my finer moments :( What is that verse about an angry woman??? Proverbs 21:19, Proverbs 21:9 and Proverbs 25:24, Proverbs 19:13; Proverbs 27:15-16, Proverbs 31:26)

I learned, am learning, that everybody messes up, nobody’s perfect, and not to berate myself when I do it. I shouldn’t wallow in how horrid I am for doing wrong. Instead I need to get up, go, and work on not doing that wrong again. (John 8:11) However, ‘blowing it’ is still wrong, whether I (we) mean to or not, and sometimes consequences need to be paid, occasionally restitution needs to be given, and almost always, apologies need to be said. Your mistakes can’t and shouldn't ruin your life (“I keep messing up! Why go on trying to do better? I never seem to succeed!” mentality) (Philippians 3:13-14) but they still need to be owned.

This is a hard concept to grasp. It’s too slippery. (For me at least! If it is easier for you to grasp, then give praise to God that He has given you more maturity concerning this! :D) It is hard for me to grasp the concept that God is Holy and Just… and yet He is a God of grace and unconditional love! WOW! I belong to a Savior who is 100% Holy and therefore cannot tolerate my sin, yet 100% understanding Psalm 103:14, Hebrews 4:15, and 100% unconditional, sacrificial Love—Love that provided a way to atone, cover, and cleanse me from that sin!

I’m human. I’m flesh and blood. I strive to do what is right as laid out in God’s Word. But I make mistakes, and occasionally? I blow it. Ask my family. (okay, wait! one second thought, please don't! lol) I feel like a failure and like a mess. Totally ashamed of my behavior. But my God, who cannot tolerate sin, still loves me, picks me up, forgives me, and tells me to “try again”. No condemnation, but GRACE.

Is this you, dear sister? Have you blown it today? Yesterday? Last week?

Maybe like me, you blew up in anger…and then quickly regretted it. Perhaps you told that lie or snubbed that friend. Maybe you nursed that grudge (ouch!) or listened to that station or watched that show or picked up that magazine even though you've repented for it and decided “no more!” time and time again. Maybe you yelled at a brother, a sister, a spouse… Perhaps I haven’t named it, but you know. You know what you did.

Can I tell you something?

Yes. What you did was wrong. Call a spade a spade. But then confess it (to God and to the people you wronged), ask for forgiveness, and then forsake it!!!

Because GOD HAS!!!

You may have failed this time, this test, but that doesn't mean you failed the class—that doesn't make you a failure!! There will be another test, another day, and you’ll have another chance.

And perhaps, armed with His Grace and the lesson you learned this time, you’ll pass that test with flying colors! :D

PS just so you know, this post neither “preached easy” nor “lives easy” for me! It was hard to write because, *gasp* I struggle with this on a daily basis! So I promise that this isn’t written from a holier-than-thou perspective. It is written from the perspective of a sister-sinner, washed in the amazing, precious blood of Jesus Christ. Who loves her. Even when she least deserves it. 

Constant Giving

I learned something I already knew last Monday! (And you already know it too, but it bears repeating so I'm gonna remind you anyway *bwah ha ha!* *winks*) 

My parents had been out a lot that day—spending time with each other and running errands—so Joseph and I were “in charge” while they were gone. I had a very busy day--a day leaving me with very little “me time”. My goals for that day? Well, they didn’t get done… exactly…

After dragging myself out of bed and eating breakfast, I helped Nathan with his History homework. Then, before I’d finished my coffee, Nathan eagerly whisked me off to the living room to play Lego’s (so the coffee came with me *winks *). We played for a while, I made lunch, we played some more, mom and dad came home. I was then able to work out, eat lunch, and shower. Mom then gave me the run down of whose schoolwork needed to be checked and who still owed her what, before she and dad headed off again :D I wanted to go shut myself in my room, mess around on the computer, and get the grading/checking done, but Bethie so badly wanted to play Nancy Drew (PC games) with me, (and I had this blogpost poking around at my conscience *winks *) so I agreed to play with her. As she started to play, everyone decided they were hungry for dinner! :D So I finished potatoes (mamma started them!), heated up corn, and ‘sliced’ (read ripped) the meat off a rotisserie chicken mom and dad had brought home for us earlier. Bethie brought the computer up to the kitchen table where we continued our together time, as I went back and forth between watching her play, eating my dinner, supervising, and doing bits and pieces of kitchen cleaning in between. The winter Olympics came on, and as we watched them Hannah ironed clothes and I folded and delivered them, and Heidi did dishes during commercial breaks. Hannah made Puppy Chow and a (HUGE—I mean, seriously! She made them in cupcake tins!) Homemade Reese’s for me with my natural peanut butter for filling *smiles dreamily *. Nathan and Joseph played some battle game and watched the Olympics back and forth. It was fun. Not perfect—there were the sarcastic comments and sibling squabbles here and there—but overall it was a fun evening! When mom and dad came home, I settled down with those answer keys and homework notebooks and checked and corrected the kids’ work… … and then I was finished.

*Phew! *

A full, busy, productive, even fun day!

But I felt a tad bit weary!

I realized I hadn't really done much of what I had personally (selfishly?) hoped to accomplish today, (But, with such a good workout and long, hot shower, I really could not complain!:D) but it had still been a great, fulfilling day.

I also realized something about MOTHERHOOD. I had a head knowledge of it for some time, but today, I had a better heart knowledge of this fact: 

Mamma’s GIVE

They give A LOT

A lot of themselves,

A lot of their time,

A lot of their energy

Their focus

Every day

All. Day. Long.

And they don’t just GIVE.

They GIVE UP.

Not “give up” as in “wimping out” –huh uh!!

(they can't do that, although surely there are moments when they want to LOL!)

No! They give up their goals, their to-do lists, their time, their lives

To invest love, learning, and life into their families!

It’s fulfilling and wonderful <3

But at the end of the day it leaves a woman weary!!!

So for all you young ladies reading this right now, I encourage you to take a minute, go find your mom, and give her a hug. Thank her for all she gives every day in a million tiny ways (and moms are so good at giving of themselves to make the lives of their husbands and children better, that often, we don’t even notice all the work she really does, because she does such a flawless job!) And if your mom’s not around to hug and thank right now, purpose to do so later!!!!!

And, sweet sister, if your desire is to be a mother some day should the Lord will it, it would be an awesome idea to begin preparing for this constant giving of oneself by “practicing” a little! See if there is anything you could do daily or even just weekly around the house to lighten your mom’s load or to lift up your brothers and sisters! It would be a blessing to all those involved! :D 

And while most mothers are great examples of “constant giving”, and while it is great to follow their examples and even prepare to set our own—bear in mind our greatest Example of living a Life of constant giving! :D

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others." 

~~Philippians 2:3-4~~ (verses 5 through 7 could also be applied!)

 PS!! I need your help! What other verses that apply can you add? After/while reading this post, what Scriptures (about Jesus being our ultimate Example of giving) pop to mind? :D

A Fun Sister

Hello, dear readers!

Since my last post, a handful of ‘mini-posts’ have been collecting into a little puddle in the back of my mind. I’ve been kicking myself to get back on here or to simply sit down, take time and write. them. down. *Sighs at self *

One of these inspirations came in the form of my Dad, my youngest brother, and mountains of snow.

You see, I work weekends at a consignment shop in a nearby town. I usually drive to and from work, but because of all this winter weather (AKA adverse driving conditions!!!) my Daddy drove me to work last Saturday. When he came to pick me up that evening, he brought my youngest brother, Nathan, with him :D

After Daddy puttered around a little with a router he wanted to buy and Nathan “shopped” and goofed off with me as I chatted online with a friend, we packed up and headed to Wal-Mart before heading home.

By this time it was about 8 o’clockish, dark outside, and snowing—fat, luscious flakes!—once again.

As we pulled into the parking lot, we were met with a mountain range! The snow once covering the parking lot had been plowed (probably numerous times!) into giant mountains of snow in several matching rows!

“Whoa! Look at that!” Nathan exclaimed from the back seat. “It would be so cool to climb one of those! I bet I could do it!”

It’s cold.

It’s late.

It’s dark.

It’s past dinnertime… so we’re hungry.

It’s a public parking lot.

We have more important  things we need to do!

Any of these statements could’ve been used as perfect “reasons” (read excuses) for a parent (or older sister!) to deflate Nathan’s enthusiasm, brush aside as unimportant, or shoot down as immature.

But my daddy didn't do that. :D

He said something to the effect of ‘well, let’s get our shopping done first’ (which was followed by ‘do you have on boots?’ ‘Any gloves?’—he, he! :D)

We completed our errand, and as I paid, Dad and Nathan headed out to the parking lot to conquer the snow peaks! Well, Nathan scaled their frigid heights. Daddy stayed in the car and supervised lol.

But this struck a chord in me. It blessed my heart, as the observer. I found myself thinking, I want my husband to be like that—a fun daddy. One who lets the kids go with their fun impulses (within reason and Biblical parameters) and goof off once in a while, whether or not it’s convenient in the moment or “grown up” enough. In fact, I want to possess those qualities as well as a {future} mother! The ‘fun mom’. Not the one who doesn't let her kids be kids because she’s so concerned with making them ‘perfect’. :(

Climbing Parking Lot Mountains could be considered a silly thing to do…

…But Nathan sure had fun!

And daddy let him. <3 :) <3

As I got in the van, I thanked Dad: for being the dad who let his kids climb in the snow (where every other customer could see that ‘crazy kid in the snow’ *wink *) jump in the puddles, play in the play place, stop for an unplanned play at the park, Take a short break from our schoolwork to goof off and get the squirmies out.

For letting us be kids.

What is the point, you may ask?

How often do we as elder sisters squash that enthusiasm in our younger brothers and sisters? :( How often have they come to us while we are knee-deep in a project (or project bent) and begged us to play Legos or a game of Set with them—but we were too busy?? Watch a movie or play computer together—but that wasn’t as important as what we wanted to do? Or how often have we been so ‘concerned’ with them behaving ‘properly’ that we missed out on a chance to bless them? How often have we been so insistent they ‘do things right’ that we forget that kids are and will be kids and probably need to be nurtured in that and loved because of it!? How many chances have we missed to invest in them, love on them in a random, silly way… yet a way they’re likely to remember the rest of their lives!? :(:(:(

I know I am so. guilty. of this :(:(:(

I want to be a fun mom one day.

But I need to be a fun and loving sister right now! It is the now that is preparing me for the future!!!

And it means. The. World. To our younger brothers and sisters when we take time to set aside our agendas (however valid and genuinely important as they may be!) for a while and focus—all of our attention, all of our love— on them! They may not even consciously think, “wow! My sister loves me! I’m important to her!” but rest assured it is buried deep within their subconscious! They won’t have to think it.

They will KNOW.

And no, I’m not saying we should not handle wrong behavior when it arises; that being silly or constantly goofing off is the standard we should seek to emulate; or that we should just chuck encouraging our siblings to be mature. No! I am simply saying, once in a while, as my sister Bethie would tell me, “Everything (or everyone) does not have to be “perfect” (what is perfect anyway!? lol).

So I encourage you today, big sister! Set aside ‘me’ time for a while. set aside ‘adult-ness’. And go love on your sisters! Go wrestle with your brothers! Invest (your time, energy, and love) in them and let them be kids (and o my soul, YES! I AM PREACHING TO THE CHOIR!!!! Ask nearly anyone!) And HAVE FUN!

"But I my sister and I don’t get along."

"Talking to my brother is like pulling teeth!"

"You don’t know my little sister! She is so weird!"

"But my brother can be so annoying!"

Trust me I know. :D

And they’ll be the first one’s to tell you that you’re too bossy. 

That you never play with them. that the things you do are weird to them too, and that they find it annoying when you hum while they’re doing math.

I once read a quote by a sister concerning similar thoughts: “God gave us siblings to develop patience… not because we already have it!” *winks * Your relationships with your brothers and sisters are some of the most important ones you will ever have! I promise you that they are so worth pursuing!

And one more thing: please! Don’t! Ever! Let your peers pressure you into feeling as though a close relationship with your sibling is uncool. :( Ever. :( 

What are some ways you ‘practice’ the art of being a fun sister? What are some ways you are preparing to be a mother? (Yes, you can even do this now as a single young lady!) Do you ever see good/Godly qualities in good, Godly men you hope your husband will one day possess? Please share!

A Thank You to my Readers!!!

Hello all!

In my last post, I mentioned how, even though I disappeared from the blogging world, some of you out there continued to read my blog and what an encouragement that had been to me. I promised “more on that soon”. :D I have had this promise pulsing in the back of my mind since then, and I truly do not wish to disappear again, so here is my ‘further explanation’!

As a blogger, young lady, and Christian, I try not to post anything on my blog unless it truly promotes Christ. This is why you don’t get any/many posts about me and what I’ve been doing in my personal life and such. (I am not saying those types of posts are bad; I am not saying those who write blogposts as such are bad; and I am not saying that this conviction/standard/way of posting will never change for me. I am only stating how God has ‘led’ me to post thus far :D). Sometimes, I even feel guilty checking my blogs statistics, knowing that this isn’t supposed to be about me or how much people read my work, but it’s supposed to be about God and encouraging young ladies in their walks with Him, through me. (That is why I began this blog, after all :D) However, I do still check… :D

As you all know (unless you are new to my site :D) I’ve been off the radar for a sadly loooooong amount of time. While y’all surely noticed my lack of posts, there is one thing that nobody has noticed.

Except me(Well, and God ;-)

What I noticed over the past couple of months is how, even though I haven’t posted for forever and a day, according to my blog statistics people were/are still visiting, reading, and stumbling across it nearly every day. I've been on that part of my blog quite frequently; so while it seems I've been doing nothing, I did happen to be poking around in the background ;-)

Was that because of anything I, Katie, had done?

No.

Was that because God was working? Because He is good, gracious, and can still use us even when we feel “unusable”?

Yes!

But the neat thing is that REAL PEOPLE backed up those daily, much-larger-than-I-thought-they-would-be statistics.

You are not a statistic; you are a young woman, probably a lot like me, who read my blog.

And this is what I want to say to all of you who patiently waited me out, and continued to check my blog regularly for updates during this ‘dry spell’.

Thank you

It blessed my heart and uplifted me to know you were still checking things out

That you still cared

I know this probably seems shallow or unimportant to some people, but to log on and see how many people had visited, what posts they had read, and that they were keeping tabs on my blog even though I hadn't been posting—

THAT WAS A WONDERFUL ENCOURAGEMENT TO ME.

Whoever you are—thank you.

By His grace, God used you to be a great encouragement to me!!!

In the Night Seasons...

(BEFORE YOU BEGIN: I do realize this is rather a lengthy post. :D But if you have time—especially if you are hurting or going through a season of darkness or a night season spiritually—please stick with me! Lol)

Perhaps, if you are observant, you have noticed my lack of posts here lately. *winks*

Okay. You do not even have to be observant! Any little kid could look at the date of my last post and say, “Wow! This lady hasn’t posted in months!”

Some of you have still checked up regularly for anything new—and you have no. idea. what ‘behind-the-scenes-encouragement’ that has been to my soul! (but more on that soon!). Just know for now that I've greatly appreciated that.

But others may be wondering where I've gone.

I've got a comparison for you today…

Usually, I write posts based on what God gives me and excites me with (or ‘ouches’ me with) during my quiet time alone with Him.

Well, you know how my blog has had this…’lovely’…dry spell?

Yeah. :( :(  So has my walk with Jesus.

Hence the absurd lack of posts.

Someday I may (honestly hope) to get into ‘how’ and ‘why’, but that as well is for another post. Er… posts. 

But I did have something I wanted to share with you today.

Some of you may have deep, intimate walks with the Lord, and some of you may be new to talking to and hearing from Him daily. Whichever girl you are, if you’re anything like me, you’re prone to bouts of discouragement. The discouragement could be little “bummer days” or it could be full-blown dark spells of depression.

It doesn't matter how significant or insignificant your discouragement may seem to be—the important thing is that you feel it. And it hurts.

So often when I would experience these times, Titus-2 women in my life would point me to Psalms because, while we think of him as this great mighty warrior-king who did fantastic things for God and was a perfect man after His own heart, David had these seasons of discouragement too! In fact, I’ve gotten pointed there so often that it just got plain annoying. I got so deep into discouragement that it was like ‘I’ve read the Psalms. I know David felt depressed, too, but at this point NOTHING HELPS!’ In fact, nothing seemed to help. The Bible was dry, and God seemed so. far. away. I wasn’t deep into sin or anything, but it felt as though God had turned His back on me.

And yes! Of COURSE I knew better. Still, didn’t help the cold, frightening feelings of utter desolation go away.

Maybe you’re there, sweet sister. ((Pulls you into a tight hug)) Maybe, while you’re not that down in the dumps, you can at least relate. Or perhaps, you’ve never felt this before ((stop right now and praise Jesus for that fact and ask Him for the strength to not let go to Him if it should ever happen!!!!)) but you may know someone who does.

May I say something to you?

Did you know, that even though you’re in the absolute dark and you can’t see Him for the trees, Jesus is visiting you during this season (yes, this hideously ridiculous) season of darkness??

I found an index card in my Bible I had written on one night while I quickly, but finally, did my devotions.

This is (basically lol) what it said:

Psalm 17:3 “thou has visited me IN THE NIGHT” (cross references with Psalms 16:7 “in the NIGHT SEASONS”—it would be interesting to see what that meant in the Hebrew. “Seasons of darkness” maybe???”

So, of course, I looked it up just before beginning this post, and was surprised at what I discovered. Basically, the word for “night” in Psalms 17:3 and “night season” in Psalms 16:7 means/refers to “a twist (away of the light)… figuratively {meaning} adversity… (mid-)night (season).”

Deeper study into those words gave the picture of a twisting stairwell, and I had the mental picture of someone holding one of those antique-looking brass candlesticks in a dark stairwell, and as they turned around and ascended the rounding steps, taking the meager light farther and farther away.

Maybe that’s how you feel. I know I did/do. :( I felt as though it was Jesus with that candlestick, twisting Himself away from me and hiding the light from my face :(.

But of course, He hadn’t… that’s just how it FELT. And we as ladies know how to not allow ourselves to be overcome by our feelings… … right…?? (*Cough, cough* yeah right!!! ROFL)

Psalms 17:3 says that God had proved David’s heart and that God HAD VISITED HIM IN THE NIGHT {SEASONS} when it felt as though He were nowhere to be found!!!!! Verse 7 of chapter 16 tells us that the Lord had given David counsel, and that his “mind, or interior self” had given had instructed him in those night seasons.

Perhaps I was so {inwardly} focused on how much I was hurting and on how much I felt like Jesus was not there to actually take the time to inquire, to see that He really was there.

Please sister—don’t do that! :( It hurts. So. Bad. Does it hurt!

But (of course!) the verse doesn’t end there! David goes on:

“Thou has visited me in the night; though has tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.”

…

… …

“And shalt. Find. Nothing.”

Nothing.

Nothing for God to reproach him with.

I know that when God tried me, when trials came and God checked on me, He found P-L-E-N-T-Y He could reproach me with.

During the night season:

I stuck to it for a good long while (only by His grace), but eventually I gave up on reading my Bible.

I did it diligently every day (again, by His grace alone), but eventually I gave up deep thorough praying as well.

I kept going (thanks to my parents lol) but I didn’t even want to go to church!

Yeah.

Lots God could’ve reproached me for. I was quite far from the example David somehow set. My card went on:

“God, while at one point in my life {in this night season} I may have been able to say this with the Psalmist… I no longer can :(. If you were to “try me”… :( you’d find plenty to disappoint you; plenty of things to find that I’ve been doing wrong, not doing right, or not doing well enough or with the right motives. Or at all. :(”

What is really cool, really comfortingly wonderful, is this:

That God we feel has turned away?

Yeah. HE SPECIALIZES IN THE IMPOSSIBLE. HE’S THE GOD OF 2^ND, 3^RD, 40^TH, 60^TH, AND 189^TH CHANCES! HE LOVES US WITH AN EVERLASTING PERFECT LOVE! He DOES. NOT. HATE. YOU. And you are NOT. BEYOND. HIS. HELP or REACH! He misses you, but He LOVES you! According to Hebrews 4:15, He GETS IT! HE UNDERSTANDS what you are going through!

“But I keep messing up!” you tell me. “I keep falling back into this black whole or getting sucked into it!” “How can He still love me after I’ve totally failed His testing me?!”

First of all, what you see as failure did NOT take Him by surprise. It doesn't make it right, but you didn't surprise Him one bit.

Secondly, I recently heard on a wonderful movie that God is able to love us so passionately, so relentlessly, even when we give up on Him (or even purposefully leave or abandon Him :( ) because His love is NOT DEPENDENT on us or on our actions.     Wow.

My devotional card for that night went on, though. And Lord willing this can help you. Even if it is the smallest measure of help:

“Psalm 17:5 “Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.”  This needs to be my prayer, 24/7/365. (Also see Psalm 119:133) Verse 15 of Ps. 17 says “as for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.” This verse cross-references with Psalm 16:11, “…in thy presence is fullness of joy…”

During these two separate times of darkness for David, he came to realize, (right at the end was when he noticed it though! :D) that even in the darkness it was in the presence of his GOD that he found Fullness of Joy.

These verses don’t say that “in the presence of those who encourage or give me Godly counsel” is fullness of Joy. {Although HE in whose presence IS fullness of joy CERTAINLY uses and works through those wonderful people!} Fullness of Joy wasn't found in a host of other material things we may use to distract ourselves from the pain of the darkness. Nope.

Fullness of Joy, even in the darkness, is found in HIS presence.

HIS PRESENCE presents us with the FULLEST measure of Joy. The best :) of happy.

Thank you Jesus!

The one drawback about this simple yet profound ‘being in His presence’ thing is that it can be hard, especially when you’re hurting. But can I tell you a secret?

Even if it doesn't’t “work” right away, (as in magically making it all go away) It certainly helps!

Sister—perhaps, brother—you are not alone. And you are not without hope. God’s love for you is NOT dependent of you. Remember, while she surely felt most alone, it was during the NIGHT SEASON that David says the Lord “visited” him.

As alone as you feel, HE IS with you, and in His presence is FULLNESS OF JOY.

"Thing of the Past"... or Useful??

I've read in a couple different places lately how blogs are apparently a ‘thing of the past’.

News to me!

Not in my world, they aren’t!

I wondered how or if this could really be true, because most of the blogs I follow, frequent, or am continuing to learn of, have incredible followings and have wonderfully uplifting articles (and occasionally products! :D). So whether or not the information is true concerning the worth of a blog at this point in time, I began wondering (in my gloomy moods) if I shouldn't simply get rid of my blog altogether.

But there was always a little part of me loath to do it.

Then last week, through a list of “Helpful Resources for Single Women” given by Miss Ashley at the end of her encouraging eBook, “Single Girl—The Single Woman’s Guide to Life, Liberty,and the Pursuit of Godliness” (which you can order from her blog/website for only $4.95!!!) I came across the Time Warp Wife. I am not a wife at present, but do desire to be married some day, and I found so much practical advice to save and apply later on down the road. I was just so refreshed and encouraged by all I found on that and similar blogs, and a thought came to me—hit me, as it were.

Blogging is not a useless thing of the past.

I was encouraged from hopping from blog to Godly blog, and I’m not the only one out there that needs encouragement from time to time, whether it be in our practical daily lives, or in our walk with Christ! If these dear ladies blogs could be such an encouragement to me, surely God can use my blog to encourage other young ladies who need encouragement! Maybe you! :D :D :D

So, by God’s grace, I’m going to keep on posting. :D

And, whether you struggle with your single state or not, I highly recommend you check out—ahem! —buy Miss Ashley’s book—it spoke to me right where I was at! ♥