In the Night Seasons...

(BEFORE YOU BEGIN: I do realize this is rather a lengthy post. :D But if you have time—especially if you are hurting or going through a season of darkness or a night season spiritually—please stick with me! Lol)

Perhaps, if you are observant, you have noticed my lack of posts here lately. *winks*
Okay. You do not even have to be observant! Any little kid could look at the date of my last post and say, “Wow! This lady hasn’t posted in months!
Some of you have still checked up regularly for anything new—and you have no. idea. what ‘behind-the-scenes-encouragement’ that has been to my soul! (but more on that soon!). Just know for now that I've greatly appreciated that.
But others may be wondering where I've gone.

I've got a comparison for you today…
Usually, I write posts based on what God gives me and excites me with (or ‘ouches’ me with) during my quiet time alone with Him.
Well, you know how my blog has had this…’lovely’…dry spell?
Yeah. :( :(  So has my walk with Jesus.
Hence the absurd lack of posts.
Someday I may (honestly hope) to get into ‘how’ and ‘why’, but that as well is for another post. Er… posts. 
But I did have something I wanted to share with you today.
Some of you may have deep, intimate walks with the Lord, and some of you may be new to talking to and hearing from Him daily. Whichever girl you are, if you’re anything like me, you’re prone to bouts of discouragement. The discouragement could be little “bummer days” or it could be full-blown dark spells of depression.
It doesn't matter how significant or insignificant your discouragement may seem to be—the important thing is that you feel it. And it hurts.
So often when I would experience these times, Titus-2 women in my life would point me to Psalms because, while we think of him as this great mighty warrior-king who did fantastic things for God and was a perfect man after His own heart, David had these seasons of discouragement too! In fact, I’ve gotten pointed there so often that it just got plain annoying. I got so deep into discouragement that it was like ‘I’ve read the Psalms. I know David felt depressed, too, but at this point NOTHING HELPS!’ In fact, nothing seemed to help. The Bible was dry, and God seemed so. far. away. I wasn’t deep into sin or anything, but it felt as though God had turned His back on me.
And yes! Of COURSE I knew better. Still, didn’t help the cold, frightening feelings of utter desolation go away.

Maybe you’re there, sweet sister. ((Pulls you into a tight hug)) Maybe, while you’re not that down in the dumps, you can at least relate. Or perhaps, you’ve never felt this before ((stop right now and praise Jesus for that fact and ask Him for the strength to not let go to Him if it should ever happen!!!!)) but you may know someone who does.
May I say something to you?
Did you know, that even though you’re in the absolute dark and you can’t see Him for the trees, Jesus is visiting you during this season (yes, this hideously ridiculous) season of darkness??

I found an index card in my Bible I had written on one night while I quickly, but finally, did my devotions.
This is (basically lol) what it said:

Psalm 17:3thou has visited me IN THE NIGHT” (cross references with Psalms 16:7in the NIGHT SEASONS”—it would be interesting to see what that meant in the Hebrew. “Seasons of darkness” maybe???”

So, of course, I looked it up just before beginning this post, and was surprised at what I discovered. Basically, the word for “night” in Psalms 17:3 and “night season” in Psalms 16:7 means/refers to “a twist (away of the light)… figuratively {meaning} adversity… (mid-)night (season).”
Deeper study into those words gave the picture of a twisting stairwell, and I had the mental picture of someone holding one of those antique-looking brass candlesticks in a dark stairwell, and as they turned around and ascended the rounding steps, taking the meager light farther and farther away.

Maybe that’s how you feel. I know I did/do. :( I felt as though it was Jesus with that candlestick, twisting Himself away from me and hiding the light from my face :(.
But of course, He hadn’t… that’s just how it FELT. And we as ladies know how to not allow ourselves to be overcome by our feelings… … right…?? (*Cough, cough* yeah right!!! ROFL)

Psalms 17:3 says that God had proved David’s heart and that God HAD VISITED HIM IN THE NIGHT {SEASONS} when it felt as though He were nowhere to be found!!!!! Verse 7 of chapter 16 tells us that the Lord had given David counsel, and that his “mind, or interior self” had given had instructed him in those night seasons.
Perhaps I was so {inwardly} focused on how much I was hurting and on how much I felt like Jesus was not there to actually take the time to inquire, to see that He really was there.
Please sister—don’t do that! :( It hurts. So. Bad. Does it hurt!
But (of course!) the verse doesn’t end there! David goes on:
“Thou has visited me in the night; though has tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.”
… …
“And shalt. Find. Nothing.”
Nothing for God to reproach him with.

I know that when God tried me, when trials came and God checked on me, He found P-L-E-N-T-Y He could reproach me with.

During the night season:
I stuck to it for a good long while (only by His grace), but eventually I gave up on reading my Bible.
I did it diligently every day (again, by His grace alone), but eventually I gave up deep thorough praying as well.
I kept going (thanks to my parents lol) but I didn’t even want to go to church!
Lots God could’ve reproached me for. I was quite far from the example David somehow set. My card went on:
“God, while at one point in my life {in this night season} I may have been able to say this with the Psalmist… I no longer can :(. If you were to “try me”… :( you’d find plenty to disappoint you; plenty of things to find that I’ve been doing wrong, not doing right, or not doing well enough or with the right motives. Or at all. :(”
What is really cool, really comfortingly wonderful, is this:
That God we feel has turned away?
Yeah. HE SPECIALIZES IN THE IMPOSSIBLE. HE’S THE GOD OF 2ND, 3RD, 40TH, 60TH, AND 189TH CHANCES! HE LOVES US WITH AN EVERLASTING PERFECT LOVE! He DOES. NOT. HATE. YOU. And you are NOT. BEYOND. HIS. HELP or REACH! He misses you, but He LOVES you! According to Hebrews 4:15, He GETS IT! HE UNDERSTANDS what you are going through!
“But I keep messing up!” you tell me. “I keep falling back into this black whole or getting sucked into it!” “How can He still love me after I’ve totally failed His testing me?!”

First of all, what you see as failure did NOT take Him by surprise. It doesn't make it right, but you didn't surprise Him one bit.
Secondly, I recently heard on a wonderful movie that God is able to love us so passionately, so relentlessly, even when we give up on Him (or even purposefully leave or abandon Him :( ) because His love is NOT DEPENDENT on us or on our actions.     Wow.

My devotional card for that night went on, though. And Lord willing this can help you. Even if it is the smallest measure of help:
Psalm 17:5 “Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.”  This needs to be my prayer, 24/7/365. (Also see Psalm 119:133) Verse 15 of Ps. 17 says “as for me, I will behold thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with thy likeness.” This verse cross-references with Psalm 16:11, “…in thy presence is fullness of joy…”
During these two separate times of darkness for David, he came to realize, (right at the end was when he noticed it though! :D) that even in the darkness it was in the presence of his GOD that he found Fullness of Joy.
These verses don’t say that “in the presence of those who encourage or give me Godly counsel” is fullness of Joy. {Although HE in whose presence IS fullness of joy CERTAINLY uses and works through those wonderful people!} Fullness of Joy wasn't found in a host of other material things we may use to distract ourselves from the pain of the darkness. Nope.
Fullness of Joy, even in the darkness, is found in HIS presence.
HIS PRESENCE presents us with the FULLEST measure of Joy. The best :) of happy.
Thank you Jesus!

The one drawback about this simple yet profound ‘being in His presence’ thing is that it can be hard, especially when you’re hurting. But can I tell you a secret?
Even if it doesn't’t “work” right away, (as in magically making it all go away) It certainly helps!
Sister—perhaps, brother—you are not alone. And you are not without hope. God’s love for you is NOT dependent of you. Remember, while she surely felt most alone, it was during the NIGHT SEASON that David says the Lord “visited” him.

As alone as you feel, HE IS with you, and in His presence is FULLNESS OF JOY.


  1. "God is able to love us so passionately, so relentlessly, even when we give up on Him (or even purposefully leave or abandon Him L) because His love is NOT DEPENDENT on us or on our actions."

    Amen and AMEN!! This is something He's been teaching me over the past three years...and oh how rich and wonderful his love is!!! Thanks for sharing, Katie!

  2. This is something God was reminding me of the other week! He loves me because HE is love!!...not because of who I am or what I do.

  3. Our eight year old son and I were resently talking about how he felt alone sometimes. He was telling me about how he felt in his realtionship with Christ, we had this talk. *smile* To come here and read about the fullenss of joy in with it was amazingly wonderful and a great addition to the talk we resently had. Thank you for sharing. Sincerely, Mommy of two growing blessings & so much more!

    1. Aw! to GOD be the Glory, Mama-of-2!!!!! This comment was a blessing to *ME* :D Bless your son's heart! it is searching after Jesus!


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